After the women, the Blacks and the Gays get all their rights, the ACLU is going to be looking for the next minority that needs some help doing judicial ass-kicking. Allow me, please, to make my case for the Unibrows of the world.

It seems that people in our society clam up every time someone makes an inappropriate gay or racial joke, but they have no problem telling Unibrows that they “really need to pluck that thing.”

Do we ask the gays to just stop being gay?? (Okay, we kinda do).

Well then do we ask the black folk to just stop being so darned black? (Okay, we kinda do that too).

Please read the excerpt below from eHow.com’s “useful” tips on dealing with a Unibrow. This aggression will not stand, man. It just will not stand.

eHow recommends:
“Don’t be afraid to admit your unibrow status. Better to take care of it, and keep your style intact, than walk around sprouting whiskers from above the bridge of your nose.
Give friends and family subtle hints if they are not taking care of the problem. After all, if their style is affected, so is yours by hanging out with them. Offer to do your own (even if you don’t have one) to get them to rid themselves of theirs too.”
Personally, I wouldn’t take advice from people who think bleaching your asshole is a reasonable thing to do. It’s a topsy turvy world, indeed, when a Unibrow can’t just remain how the good Lord made him. Oh, and as for having fewer friends based on my style-affecting Unibrow? Well, I can’t really speak to that. It probably has a lot more to do with my personality.

2 responses »

  1. curm says:

    I just use about a pound of hair gel and shape it into a visor, I suppose You could make your uni-brow into a unicorn horn too, I,ll bet if you are bald you can comb it back and mix it up with your neck and ear hair.

    • These are all fantastic ideas! At the grocery store as we speak, buying a tub of Crisco. Going with the unicorn horn, I think. Also gonna intertwine the cluster of hairs sprouting on the end of my nose for effect. Thanks, Curm!

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