His mom lived in another galaxy and he still needed to call her. Your mom lives in Des Moines. What's YOUR excuse?

Since returning from Africa, where his kin live, the Brow has been experiencing a new-found love for his bloods.

Family is the shit sometimes.

Cause having a tribe is something we all need. We like to pretend that’s not the case, but it is. That’s why wars are here to stay. Because ain’t nobody touching my tribe.

Sure, today it could be a tribe called America versus a tribe called Taliban. But it could just as easily be a tribe called “chefs” versus a tribe called “softball rec league players” were the Armageddon to happen and you had to go with the group of people you were currently with, not having time to rush home and get the wife and kids.

The fact is, people love belonging to shit.

There’s this idea floating around out there that we like to go it alone, make our own way in the world. In America, especially, a sense that only when you leave home and strike out on your own can you really become a success. Even if your family’s home was posh, with guesthouses bigger than most people’s regular houses, and your every need or whim taken care of, you were not allowed to stay there. You had to leave in order to gain self-respect. And once you left, you could not come back, because there would be strings attached.

American young people don’t like those strings. Young people in other countries — you know, those places where there’s far less to go around and a scarcity of good things happening in the public arena — like to stay home around their parents and relatives. Americans like to judge those people in a roundabout way, where they might run major articles in their magazines that discuss things like: “Alarming Number of 30 Year-Olds Return Home.”

Why is “returning home” such a bad thing? I mean, if your dad’s an alcoholic and your mother is a hoarder, okay. You should probably adopt another tribe. But if they’re really nice people who just want you around? Is that bad?

Ray Romano, of Everybody Loves Raymond fame, lived in his parents’ basement until he was 30. I bet his parents were wonderful people. Ray, also, probably liked the fact that his mom did his laundry and would cook him his favorite meal every Monday night, like clockwork (it was Penne all Arrabiata, btw).

If your family lives in a really crap town, okay. Then you can move away. I see your point.

But other than that, what’s the rush?

Yeah, there’s the idea of having a place to call your own where you can have parties and host significant others for special playtime. Being with parents certainly cramps that.

What many Americans like to do, though, is strike out on their own, get jobs, raise families, and wait for the inheritance to kick in after mom and dad have been stashed in a nursing home for a few years.

Then, while cruising the lake in the new speedboat they bought with dad’s pension payout, they can look over at their friends and their children (who are plotting ways to kill them) and say: “Boy am I glad I left home and struck out into the world on my own. I learned so many valuable lessons that made me the man I am today.”

As The Godfather so plainly demonstrates, the erosion of the family in America is a harmful thing.

When you stick close to your family, you learn patience, tolerance, and acquire the skill of focusing on the good in each person. The Brow has been watching America closely. He has noticed that people nowadays are in less of a rush to cast off the chains of family and relations.

This is all to say that, if you haven’t done so already today, call your mother. Tell her how swell she is. Or tell her you forgive her.

She’s been waiting to hear from you.

Tribal pride. Over n out.

You have nothing at stake here. Why not insult me?

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